empirical shadows and beautiful light

I realize now more than  ever
That the things I have wished  were perfect
Can never be so in this  glitch
Of a life as I wonder if it's worth it
To carry on day in and day  out
With the weight of my so  called existence
To others I feel I'm  pathetic
As they focus on my  imperfections
My life remains as endless  pages
And chapters of tears and  pain
From time to time I dare to  smile
But it always ends in  shame
So who am I and why am I  here
If I've never felt I  was needed
There are times I cry in the  night
Wishing I knew the  reason