Showing posts with label Sadness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sadness. Show all posts
bowled over
i trickle these
whirling emotions
that aren't mine
anymore
for how easily
she failed
to bare
her concern
honestly
i never thought
her love could be
something neglectful but
through my heavy soul
i whispered
"it's okay"
then died, then died,
while burying this from
her ever searching heart
and i vow to never admit
she hurt me
i trickle these
whirling emotions
that aren't mine
anymore
for how easily
she failed
to bare
her concern
honestly
i never thought
her love could be
something neglectful but
through my heavy soul
i whispered
"it's okay"
then died, then died,
while burying this from
her ever searching heart
and i vow to never admit
she hurt me
while this bares
in a tone of blue-gray it
lingers of nothing more than
silence
it's emotionless and
embraces me within the absence of my muse
a secluded whim of
dispassion slays my artistic
alchemy
oh
i mourn
between each despairing breath
and readily surrender my heart
for the price
of ullage
drowning, drowning...
i curse the heaven's for such an unfathomable
curiosity!
where are the days that have
never dreamed of quarreling with my soul--
when life bequeathed to me a beauty
of such imaginings?
how i cry out
to part with my seducing gift but,
through chicanery, my voice perfectly fails.
i am
utterly
dead.
in a tone of blue-gray it
lingers of nothing more than
silence
it's emotionless and
embraces me within the absence of my muse
a secluded whim of
dispassion slays my artistic
alchemy
oh
i mourn
between each despairing breath
and readily surrender my heart
for the price
of ullage
drowning, drowning...
i curse the heaven's for such an unfathomable
curiosity!
where are the days that have
never dreamed of quarreling with my soul--
when life bequeathed to me a beauty
of such imaginings?
how i cry out
to part with my seducing gift but,
through chicanery, my voice perfectly fails.
i am
utterly
dead.
i'll carve my truest thoughts into the wall
tonight with hope that you will hear my plea
the clock once told me one day i would fall
yet never whispered how i'd not be free
the pain i feel invites my heart to break
the winter snow drifts beauty for awhile
although i have nowhere to go, i'll make
the best of this in thinking of your smile
there is a scythe that hides within the wind
it holds your voice and tells me you don't care
oh i apologize for how i sinned
i never meant to bring you such despair
you tossed me to the streets with no remorse
and cried how you could do with a divorce
you tossed me to the streets with no remorse
and cried how you could do with a divorce
Author Notes: This piece is not autobiographical.
from this there seems to be
no escape
as I sense an angel whose beauty
unveils
my heart
and while her essence molds
the reaping of
what I have ever
longed to know
a tear trickles by the notion that
deliverance
may unceasingly
desire to
corner her
yet
through her
I wish our Father would grant me
my one chance
to redeem my empty-handed soul
if only
she might remember
what it is to love
and know again
the touch
of empathy
no escape
as I sense an angel whose beauty
unveils
my heart
and while her essence molds
the reaping of
what I have ever
longed to know
a tear trickles by the notion that
deliverance
may unceasingly
desire to
corner her
yet
through her
I wish our Father would grant me
my one chance
to redeem my empty-handed soul
if only
she might remember
what it is to love
and know again
the touch
of empathy
and if to fall with her
could
be a blessing
then I wish go
way of all flesh
and
liberate her
from that
unrighteous salvation
be a blessing
then I wish go
way of all flesh
and
liberate her
from that
unrighteous salvation
i etch in stone the sight of my mind's eye
through broken words that i have wished for her
to know when all my thoughts bring me to cry
of all the reasons my future's a blur
while memories still linger in my pain
and i hold in my soul this cross to bear
to where i sense through dreams i'll not again
confess my deepest thirst, i now forswear
i cannot claim to be one who exists
nor can i say that i am now at peace
my passion died, i long to bare my wrists
wide open and so forth this hurt will cease
the sadness that she gave me through her ways
will haunt me here and now for all my days
through broken words that i have wished for her
to know when all my thoughts bring me to cry
of all the reasons my future's a blur
while memories still linger in my pain
and i hold in my soul this cross to bear
to where i sense through dreams i'll not again
confess my deepest thirst, i now forswear
i cannot claim to be one who exists
nor can i say that i am now at peace
my passion died, i long to bare my wrists
wide open and so forth this hurt will cease
the sadness that she gave me through her ways
will haunt me here and now for all my days
I met within my dreams when time
conceived me so withdrawn
a bird that sang a song I've known
when life was not forgone
then drew my quill and wrote a verse
to resound what she bore
and have her flow throughout my soul
perhaps forevermore
except it seems that I've done wrong
and broke her tender heart
what can I do when I'm abashed
of what I thought was art
and how from then so timidly
I combed my soul to dream
and lastly thought of all my pride
within my silent screams
oh, how I wish that bird would come
and sing for me again
yet I must dwell within that verse
to know I yearn in vein
so beautiful that dainty bird
that bird that I once knew
with broken wings I sought to mend
beyond that dreamy view
within my silent screams
oh, how I wish that bird would come
and sing for me again
yet I must dwell within that verse
to know I yearn in vein
so beautiful that dainty bird
that bird that I once knew
with broken wings I sought to mend
beyond that dreamy view
unfathomable
or so they say when i recite
each droplet of beauty i found deep
in your gilded soul
'til a smidgen of high finds my heart
while goose bumps
trace the depthlessness of my skin;
the very rock i knew and depended on
still remains only
you
and all my dreams lingered until...
oh, until you became
vacantly silent and refused
to tell me why; your blushing lips
closed tightly to the world
still i'll kiss you gently on your forehead
then whisper to you of our romance
so that it echoes throughout your
sweet breath of life, dear lover
it's crazy how easily someone so blameless,
so soothing, and fragile
could be lured into unhappy shadows
why didn't you tell me?
i couldn't have possibly
read your mind
but i watched as the blue devils
that haunted your thoughts
prodded through
then found the flaws which adorned
the nakedness of your secret self
i miss you and still
see us dancing in the rain,
my heart was more restless then
you became the voice that resonated in me...
do you remember?
but now as i sit here wondering if you hear me
i ponder whether or not
to expel my red essence
and if that could save me from this
hurt... the blade looks so, so friendly now
and while i quietly trace along the verge
of these mangled veins
my eyes let loose my teary spirit
and gift me with absolutely no previous comfort
'i love you...' is all i sense i can utter
as my fingers tangle violently
in my oily raven hair
and so, i do through the intensities of it all...
i love you and
that is all there is.
or so they say when i recite
each droplet of beauty i found deep
in your gilded soul
'til a smidgen of high finds my heart
while goose bumps
trace the depthlessness of my skin;
the very rock i knew and depended on
still remains only
you
and all my dreams lingered until...
oh, until you became
vacantly silent and refused
to tell me why; your blushing lips
closed tightly to the world
still i'll kiss you gently on your forehead
then whisper to you of our romance
so that it echoes throughout your
sweet breath of life, dear lover
it's crazy how easily someone so blameless,
so soothing, and fragile
could be lured into unhappy shadows
why didn't you tell me?
i couldn't have possibly
read your mind
but i watched as the blue devils
that haunted your thoughts
prodded through
then found the flaws which adorned
the nakedness of your secret self
i miss you and still
see us dancing in the rain,
my heart was more restless then
you became the voice that resonated in me...
do you remember?
but now as i sit here wondering if you hear me
i ponder whether or not
to expel my red essence
and if that could save me from this
hurt... the blade looks so, so friendly now
and while i quietly trace along the verge
of these mangled veins
my eyes let loose my teary spirit
and gift me with absolutely no previous comfort
'i love you...' is all i sense i can utter
as my fingers tangle violently
in my oily raven hair
and so, i do through the intensities of it all...
i love you and
that is all there is.
I capture moments before dawnIn hours I can't help but to wonder
Of things I want so much to believe
Whenever I trust in another
Perhaps it's that I long for empathy
But I still can't understand myself
Don't know if I'm really worthy
Considering all the pain I've felt
It's hard to be optimistic sometimes
Which is why I push people away
'Cause when they get too close I'm vulnerable
To every little thing they have to say
I know it's crazy how I get suspicious
Of what they want and if they'll use me
But it's 'cause I keep analyzing their speech
That I find it all a bit too amusing
I test them to see if they really deserve
A chance to peer inside my soul
And there's reason I'm cautious no one's discovered
I sense my life was bought, used, and sold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of things I want so much to believe
Whenever I trust in another
Perhaps it's that I long for empathy
But I still can't understand myself
Don't know if I'm really worthy
Considering all the pain I've felt
It's hard to be optimistic sometimes
Which is why I push people away
'Cause when they get too close I'm vulnerable
To every little thing they have to say
I know it's crazy how I get suspicious
Of what they want and if they'll use me
But it's 'cause I keep analyzing their speech
That I find it all a bit too amusing
I test them to see if they really deserve
A chance to peer inside my soul
And there's reason I'm cautious no one's discovered
I sense my life was bought, used, and sold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
beyond that bolted door
lilies, they bloom bright;
your laughter carries an echo
in soothing rhythm white.
forever I'll envy your grace
sweet angel whom I adore
you remain my reason to be
and the piece of heaven I mourn
like the sky bruised with sadness
I crave the broken rain
to escape my weary soul
and have you once again
when I whisper to you softly
in dreams beyond this life
that I will always love you
in soothing rhythm white
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