belovéd mother
i can't begin to tell you how often i think of you. it's strange to me because as i rest my head at night i consider that i've never really known you, never saw you in the light i often fantasized about... where i see us happy. you weren't the first person i thought of each day i woke and you weren't the last before i slept; there wasn't the slightest fragment of you rested in my heart at the time. i need you to know it was all for the way i held my anger. i clenched onto it so defiantly i couldn't lay it to rest because i was haunted by the deficient way you let me be born... and i hated you for that. but i honestly try to take comfort in knowing all things happen for a reason in spite of myself. there are things i'm thankful for: i want to thank you for giving me a fighting chance at life. for my older sister without whom i'd never have survived the ordeal of a rough childhood. for ever being YOU regardless of the lifestyle you fell into while you were here (this one makes me believe your strength is my own). for holding us, your children, as close to you as you held God and never forgetting we were out there (i discovered how you wrote our names in your bible at your funeral). for your love (because no matter the severity of my bitterness you'd always accept me). i'm 32 and just now beginning to realize how stupid i've been. i'm sorry for calling you a drunk when i should have only called you a queen... forgive me. you've taught me so much more than you'll ever know. i've learned that even when you're not raised by your natural mother you can never escape the way she can mold you. i love you mom. i pray you've found the peace you've so desperately struggled to find in life.
your eldest son,
Robert E. Anderson
P.S
the valentine card you made me while you were in prison rests in my heart. i know that poem so well.
i can't begin to tell you how often i think of you. it's strange to me because as i rest my head at night i consider that i've never really known you, never saw you in the light i often fantasized about... where i see us happy. you weren't the first person i thought of each day i woke and you weren't the last before i slept; there wasn't the slightest fragment of you rested in my heart at the time. i need you to know it was all for the way i held my anger. i clenched onto it so defiantly i couldn't lay it to rest because i was haunted by the deficient way you let me be born... and i hated you for that. but i honestly try to take comfort in knowing all things happen for a reason in spite of myself. there are things i'm thankful for: i want to thank you for giving me a fighting chance at life. for my older sister without whom i'd never have survived the ordeal of a rough childhood. for ever being YOU regardless of the lifestyle you fell into while you were here (this one makes me believe your strength is my own). for holding us, your children, as close to you as you held God and never forgetting we were out there (i discovered how you wrote our names in your bible at your funeral). for your love (because no matter the severity of my bitterness you'd always accept me). i'm 32 and just now beginning to realize how stupid i've been. i'm sorry for calling you a drunk when i should have only called you a queen... forgive me. you've taught me so much more than you'll ever know. i've learned that even when you're not raised by your natural mother you can never escape the way she can mold you. i love you mom. i pray you've found the peace you've so desperately struggled to find in life.
your eldest son,
Robert E. Anderson
P.S
the valentine card you made me while you were in prison rests in my heart. i know that poem so well.
Author Notes: Related Links:
“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks
the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the
chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.” --William Arthur
Ward
Popular Posts
-
Deep in my mind that acts as my true sight I hide beneath the cloak of my daydreams While knowing only when I wish too bright The thing... -
beyond grave sites that once called my name and eerie whispers had kept me so in direction of the very baring of a cross unveiled through ...
-
Tonight I reminisce, tonight I die Tonight I reminisce, tonight I die I walk with all my burdens on my back I do my best, oh Lord kn... -
for you, the one whom i imperishably adore i bleed my heart, my soul, my every whim and by this verse, the beauty that i pour through d...
-
i see no way, no way, no way things as such could lie in me the words I often do convey reveal a mystery frail in tone to be exact ... -
"The intimacy of divine intervention will blossom like a rose and bloom for every moment I kiss your heart with my soul" -f...
-
My belovéd I am within a void if not with the inspiration of your soul, without the very essence that is you. I have only recently discov...
-
B ehold! For such light shines deep within E motionally; the shades of their love so fair A nchored to the blanket of stars that do co...
-
T’was a love told on a single page By a man named Seth to his Marguerite That would help to escape her life one day And ...
-
Oh, in my past I've longed to bid adieu To seek the future out with open arms It seems to me that each turn is the clue For eve...
.png "English"){kind=small}
No comments:
Post a Comment