empirical shadows and beautiful light

i sense
tragedy

in my soul i know,
i know we were meant to be and yet
i'm so damn vacant and oblivious that
you would have never accepted it
(at least not for long)

time seems to drift away;
it's no longer of any concern,
why won't this leave me be...
leave
me
be
and
let me sit here,
so lonely and oh, so much further
from this world
than i have ever been before,
thinking only of you

you must have thought the worse
for my abandonment,
for my fallible nature and
for my ignorance;
i wonder if you can hear me
whisper
how so sorry i am

how could i have been so
uncaring in that last moment?
God, i'm stupid.

i'm stupid because
you were more of a gift to me
than i knew
and now i'm left wondering:
'do you echo my sentiments?'

as i think more, and more, and more;
deeper and deeper,
i wish so much
that i could utter to you,
through these tears,
how truly 'i still love you'
and how...

i will
till hell freezes over
and you're reawakened
'my eternal breath of heaven.'