your aura, blue and baring of enchantment,
had only once baited my very confessions;
shards of lingering thought more consistent
than any one of my dreams.
i found you unbearably gorgeous,
and for every time you hypnotically looked my way
i have always failed to contain my teary breath of life for you;
this, i just may consider love.
my heart may aspire this beauty in my truest words
for how i can never do any less than bleed
its conveyance to influence justice
to your angelic name...
belovéd.
had only once baited my very confessions;
shards of lingering thought more consistent
than any one of my dreams.
i found you unbearably gorgeous,
and for every time you hypnotically looked my way
i have always failed to contain my teary breath of life for you;
this, i just may consider love.
my heart may aspire this beauty in my truest words
for how i can never do any less than bleed
its conveyance to influence justice
to your angelic name...
belovéd.
undying angel, my sweetest gift,
there are no shadows that can veil you away from me
for how easily you have ever,
ever reduced me softly to my secret self
through tears of joy and of no sweeter sorrow
than how my lips remain ungifted
to touch your very own
i have vowed to love you... secretly;
you, my beautiful Moira...
and i truly, truly do.
there are no shadows that can veil you away from me
for how easily you have ever,
ever reduced me softly to my secret self
through tears of joy and of no sweeter sorrow
than how my lips remain ungifted
to touch your very own
i have vowed to love you... secretly;
you, my beautiful Moira...
and i truly, truly do.
beneath my veiled brown eyes i
dreamed
a whisper to my soul
by my fair muse whose aura
gleams
and lives to make me
whole
she swore with her undying
breath
as intimate as love
that here beyond my mortal
death
my words will be thought
of
then wrapped me warm in both her
wings
while lulling me to
tears
which gave me faith for
everything
i've poured throughout the
years
and oh, her heart, it pillowed
me
until my essence
slept
and soon i crumbled to
debris
while beauty softly
wept
belovéd mother
i can't begin to tell you how often i think of you. it's strange to me because as i rest my head at night i consider that i've never really known you, never saw you in the light i often fantasized about... where i see us happy. you weren't the first person i thought of each day i woke and you weren't the last before i slept; there wasn't the slightest fragment of you rested in my heart at the time. i need you to know it was all for the way i held my anger. i clenched onto it so defiantly i couldn't lay it to rest because i was haunted by the deficient way you let me be born... and i hated you for that. but i honestly try to take comfort in knowing all things happen for a reason in spite of myself. there are things i'm thankful for: i want to thank you for giving me a fighting chance at life. for my older sister without whom i'd never have survived the ordeal of a rough childhood. for ever being YOU regardless of the lifestyle you fell into while you were here (this one makes me believe your strength is my own). for holding us, your children, as close to you as you held God and never forgetting we were out there (i discovered how you wrote our names in your bible at your funeral). for your love (because no matter the severity of my bitterness you'd always accept me). i'm 32 and just now beginning to realize how stupid i've been. i'm sorry for calling you a drunk when i should have only called you a queen... forgive me. you've taught me so much more than you'll ever know. i've learned that even when you're not raised by your natural mother you can never escape the way she can mold you. i love you mom. i pray you've found the peace you've so desperately struggled to find in life.
your eldest son,
Robert E. Anderson
P.S
the valentine card you made me while you were in prison rests in my heart. i know that poem so well.
i can't begin to tell you how often i think of you. it's strange to me because as i rest my head at night i consider that i've never really known you, never saw you in the light i often fantasized about... where i see us happy. you weren't the first person i thought of each day i woke and you weren't the last before i slept; there wasn't the slightest fragment of you rested in my heart at the time. i need you to know it was all for the way i held my anger. i clenched onto it so defiantly i couldn't lay it to rest because i was haunted by the deficient way you let me be born... and i hated you for that. but i honestly try to take comfort in knowing all things happen for a reason in spite of myself. there are things i'm thankful for: i want to thank you for giving me a fighting chance at life. for my older sister without whom i'd never have survived the ordeal of a rough childhood. for ever being YOU regardless of the lifestyle you fell into while you were here (this one makes me believe your strength is my own). for holding us, your children, as close to you as you held God and never forgetting we were out there (i discovered how you wrote our names in your bible at your funeral). for your love (because no matter the severity of my bitterness you'd always accept me). i'm 32 and just now beginning to realize how stupid i've been. i'm sorry for calling you a drunk when i should have only called you a queen... forgive me. you've taught me so much more than you'll ever know. i've learned that even when you're not raised by your natural mother you can never escape the way she can mold you. i love you mom. i pray you've found the peace you've so desperately struggled to find in life.
your eldest son,
Robert E. Anderson
P.S
the valentine card you made me while you were in prison rests in my heart. i know that poem so well.
Author Notes: Related Links:
“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks
the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the
chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.” --William Arthur
Ward
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