love is lonely
love is blind
love is ever
unsatisfied
love can pass
and turn from you
love is death
it is untrue
love is uttered
in absentness
it is lashed out
by a poisoned kiss
love surrenders
to weary hearts
then leads them straight
from light to dark
love is bloody
on a winding road
it breaks all hearts
and leaves them cold
love can ache
from root to stem
love can kill
and then condemn
love is voiced
by foul deceit
it comes from light
but will make you weep
love is dark
coiled and twined
love is voiced
by foul deceit
it comes from light
but will make you weep
love is dark
coiled and twined
so colorless
love is unkind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I capture moments before dawnIn hours I can't help but to wonder
Of things I want so much to believe
Whenever I trust in another
Perhaps it's that I long for empathy
But I still can't understand myself
Don't know if I'm really worthy
Considering all the pain I've felt
It's hard to be optimistic sometimes
Which is why I push people away
'Cause when they get too close I'm vulnerable
To every little thing they have to say
I know it's crazy how I get suspicious
Of what they want and if they'll use me
But it's 'cause I keep analyzing their speech
That I find it all a bit too amusing
I test them to see if they really deserve
A chance to peer inside my soul
And there's reason I'm cautious no one's discovered
I sense my life was bought, used, and sold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Of things I want so much to believe
Whenever I trust in another
Perhaps it's that I long for empathy
But I still can't understand myself
Don't know if I'm really worthy
Considering all the pain I've felt
It's hard to be optimistic sometimes
Which is why I push people away
'Cause when they get too close I'm vulnerable
To every little thing they have to say
I know it's crazy how I get suspicious
Of what they want and if they'll use me
But it's 'cause I keep analyzing their speech
That I find it all a bit too amusing
I test them to see if they really deserve
A chance to peer inside my soul
And there's reason I'm cautious no one's discovered
I sense my life was bought, used, and sold
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
beneath the ashen orb of night i wile away
deep in the muted beauty of my dreams
while lamenting yearns to keep my pith at bay
and have me fail to find the world, it seems
as every shard of my heart lies from pole to pole
to bleed the deepest thoughts i hold for her
i trickle softly from my melancholic soul
then breathe that reverie until it blurs
the gelid night is settled in a blue embrace
and softly i confess what i rethought
by whispering my essence to sweet heaven's grace
for all we ever lived then sought and sought
but soon discovered my own secret self deprived
of all i found in her while love survived
deep in the muted beauty of my dreams
while lamenting yearns to keep my pith at bay
and have me fail to find the world, it seems
as every shard of my heart lies from pole to pole
to bleed the deepest thoughts i hold for her
i trickle softly from my melancholic soul
then breathe that reverie until it blurs
the gelid night is settled in a blue embrace
and softly i confess what i rethought
by whispering my essence to sweet heaven's grace
for all we ever lived then sought and sought
but soon discovered my own secret self deprived
of all i found in her while love survived
i tremble at the thought that the ivory tower
of my brilliance, as wonderful as it may seem,
shall fall to a love that may turn sour
then agony will follow; all the while i dream
through and through and time again
that one whose beauty enraptures me
will not cause me an ounce of pain
but love me for an eternity
of my brilliance, as wonderful as it may seem,
shall fall to a love that may turn sour
then agony will follow; all the while i dream
through and through and time again
that one whose beauty enraptures me
will not cause me an ounce of pain
but love me for an eternity
synthesized through a tainted kiss
now i'm so bitter with you
did you know love could be like this
that it was the loneliest of virtues?
see i've questioned how you could deny
our every dream forever
the illusion of love pours from the sky
while evoking our hearts to sever
my tears remain as my escape
from all that emptiness
if beauty dawns in the poems i shape
then by my dead-eye we exist
i'll dwell inside where i've aimed to hide
from all that you have said
and with both my hands completely tied
i bear the thoughts you wanted dead
whether you could tell me if you wonder
about where we might have been
if you hadn't dragged and driven us under
beneath all your doubt within
is the enigma trapped inside your soul
while you long a passage to see
and exposing our grave to fierce extol
is the way we were meant to be
now i'm so bitter with you
did you know love could be like this
that it was the loneliest of virtues?
see i've questioned how you could deny
our every dream forever
the illusion of love pours from the sky
while evoking our hearts to sever
my tears remain as my escape
from all that emptiness
if beauty dawns in the poems i shape
then by my dead-eye we exist
i'll dwell inside where i've aimed to hide
from all that you have said
and with both my hands completely tied
i bear the thoughts you wanted dead
whether you could tell me if you wonder
about where we might have been
if you hadn't dragged and driven us under
beneath all your doubt within
is the enigma trapped inside your soul
while you long a passage to see
and exposing our grave to fierce extol
is the way we were meant to be
come squeeze on the thorns and confess while you bleedlet me mourn for you at the alter of death
time is no acquaintance, you're still my reason to breathe
beyond the veil of ever after, the memory you left
lingers through the nothingness and all that we'll find
when our souls reach out to find their resting place
may carry by the winds of a beauty divine
every thought we'd evoke while our broken dreams lay
with all of eternity for each time that we vowed
by all that we yearned, the truth and the dare
the prayers that i cry out won't let my heart drown
until we consist of what heaven declared
as these thoughts flame for the beauty i've sought
fueled by the madness in my heart's desire for a glimpse of what transpires in the eerie depths
which grow by the things that have built the fire
it may be the voices that echo the rain
or the solitude which had once called to me
the one thing i know is that forever
i've buried my soul into a wild degree
while i begged to the heavens for an ounce of you
to flow through the veins of what may come
and die before the emptiness ignites the truth
which call to the depths where i am from
where my thoughts flame for the beauty i've sought
fueled by the madness in my heart's desire
for a glimpse of what transpires in the eerie depths
which grow by the things that have built the fire
To seek the future out with open arms
It seems to me that each turn is the clue
For every time I tried to reach the stars
It seems to me that each turn is the clue
For every time I tried to reach the stars
I've been away for far too many years
Locked in my mind where I would often wait
For what would come beyond my fallen tears
When dreams would surely guide me on my way
Locked in my mind where I would often wait
For what would come beyond my fallen tears
When dreams would surely guide me on my way
It is with every lesson that I've learned
That life designed for me a lovely tone
Which helped me to attain the thoughts I yearned
No longer do I feel I am alone
That life designed for me a lovely tone
Which helped me to attain the thoughts I yearned
No longer do I feel I am alone
within the corners of deepest embracebeyond the doors laced throughout
thoughts that invade my mind frame
exit to the sky where i shout
through every dream i feel had lost me
where there's nowhere to turn but to the mirror
i confide to the depths in my honesty
and once again step a little nearer
would you hear me better if i whispered
every secret to every star tonight
wondering if you can hear each word
i write by the beauty which heaven designed
thoughts that invade my mind frame
exit to the sky where i shout
through every dream i feel had lost me
where there's nowhere to turn but to the mirror
i confide to the depths in my honesty
and once again step a little nearer
would you hear me better if i whispered
every secret to every star tonight
wondering if you can hear each word
i write by the beauty which heaven designed
a soul inside this fukked up skin
from where no one sees
beyond fear is nothing
and love is alwayz seeked
but no one knows inside my soul
where I swear I truly am
i wish I had someone to turn to
who'd alwayz understand
i'm a soul inside this fukked up skin
from where I can't escape
why can't they see I'm more than this
my thoughts are teary ached
deep inside I cry for help
praying maybe someone's there
who knows my soul & could forever be
the answer to my prayers
from where no one sees
beyond fear is nothing
and love is alwayz seeked
but no one knows inside my soul
where I swear I truly am
i wish I had someone to turn to
who'd alwayz understand
i'm a soul inside this fukked up skin
from where I can't escape
why can't they see I'm more than this
my thoughts are teary ached
deep inside I cry for help
praying maybe someone's there
who knows my soul & could forever be
the answer to my prayers
beyond grave sites that once called my name
and eerie whispers had kept me so
in direction of the very baring
of a cross unveiled through hopeless shadow
these heavens drown me within your tangle
of webbed mercy I do adore
not I, no never had seemed embraced
by the divine language which angels pour
o by the grace of light your soul diverged
which shall never see the day that I
cry your name in painful tone
for death released me to touch your eyes
and upon these days I rise like this
forgetting what it is to feel
things that now are unknown to me
breathless, I swear this unconcealed
and eerie whispers had kept me so
in direction of the very baring
of a cross unveiled through hopeless shadow
these heavens drown me within your tangle
of webbed mercy I do adore
not I, no never had seemed embraced
by the divine language which angels pour
o by the grace of light your soul diverged
which shall never see the day that I
cry your name in painful tone
for death released me to touch your eyes
and upon these days I rise like this
forgetting what it is to feel
things that now are unknown to me
breathless, I swear this unconcealed
what pain of love within thy soul shall speakwhence tears as rain amid the crusted land
do soak and shallow 'neath thy beauty's peak
e'er faint and yonder from my gentle hand
while by that faithful take of breath thou poured
thou art is dimmed in spirit by thy fate
oh, bid me not as less than whom adored
thou beauteous dreams within thy life's sedate
do soak and shallow 'neath thy beauty's peak
e'er faint and yonder from my gentle hand
while by that faithful take of breath thou poured
thou art is dimmed in spirit by thy fate
oh, bid me not as less than whom adored
thou beauteous dreams within thy life's sedate
I think so much about our final yearNow that you've gone and left me here to stay
I used to think that you would never near
A time when death upon your soul would play
You were so young I thought that every day
The sun would shine and we would always be
Here for each other far before the gray
Breached both our lives and set your spirit free
I know one day it's your face that I'll see
When fate should twist in time and have me go
Just know for now I'll hold you here with me
Beyond my pain where all my love does flow
There is no-way I'll think no more of you
I'll have no peace until my life is through
I'll have no peace until my life is through
Hold stead your heart, mine is comforted
By the mere existence of your smile
I weep anew, not daring dread
For faith, yes faith upon the hour's dial
'Twas lonely hours until this day
'Twas lonely hours until this day
O what a day indeed!
Amid the ruins e'er continuous
I've walked through fates to return to thee
What joy! What joy! Splendid fair
What joy! What joy! Splendid fair
High-spirited is mine own bind to life
O darkened path, O tempest gray
N'er again will you cause me strife
No void of gloom, but musing praise
No void of gloom, but musing praise
For my love, my world, my brightest dream
O'er lovely verse to soothe thine soul
I declare rejoice unspeakably
i see no way, no way, no way
things as such could lie in me
the words I often do convey
reveal a mystery
frail in tone to be exact
the light for which I wish
distorted, tedious and abstract
sort of discolor-ish
i write of things I've failed to do
with black ink and of weight
which sent this to impair me through
the things I can't create
life's preciousness upon this day
has altered to debris
i see no way, no way, no way
things as such could lie in me
the words I often do convey
reveal a mystery
frail in tone to be exact
the light for which I wish
distorted, tedious and abstract
sort of discolor-ish
i write of things I've failed to do
with black ink and of weight
which sent this to impair me through
the things I can't create
life's preciousness upon this day
has altered to debris
i see no way, no way, no way
things as such could lie in me
through artistry your pen engraves the thoughts you do refine
within your heart to paint what your fair pneuma can design
and by the vitae through the breath of life you dance a dream
which most can say they've always yearned when reading how you gleam
as well as what pure blessings your dear muse awakes by whim
each verse you write but for a chance to gradually un-dim
and by the vitae through the breath of life you dance a dream
which most can say they've always yearned when reading how you gleam
as well as what pure blessings your dear muse awakes by whim
each verse you write but for a chance to gradually un-dim
I feel you are a wordsmith to behold when reading deep
within the tenderness by every poem you wake and reap
you justify the feelings which you hold so deep inside
and let them swirl and turn divinely through your virtues tide
no discomposure can consign to grave your very cause
so by the universe's breath and all poetic laws
you find deliverance within the solace of your lair
to pour the convoluted truth you taught yourself to bear
no discomposure can consign to grave your very cause
so by the universe's breath and all poetic laws
you find deliverance within the solace of your lair
to pour the convoluted truth you taught yourself to bear
while this remains in me throughout each daymy chosen words had not once yet expressed
nor touched upon the things i wish to say
i'll bleed my heart beyond that peaking test
so i may mark undyingly within
about the truth i've always longed to know
quite far before my life shall wear too thin
deep in this book is where i'll pour my soul
When the show is over, will there be no encore?
I've watched the lonely hands of time,
call all those who had adored
the things that bury restless wild
My mind which strays to a perfect place,
tells me things I want to see,
throughout the pages of my humble ways
I poured my soul and heart to be
for my family and the very best,
who stood by my side as we held together,
the one who held that torch which lit
our way to guide our lives forever
When the show is over, and the cheers echo,
fade away with better days
I'll always remember the surge of flow,
and energy we made up on that stage
call all those who had adored
the things that bury restless wild
My mind which strays to a perfect place,
tells me things I want to see,
throughout the pages of my humble ways
I poured my soul and heart to be
for my family and the very best,
who stood by my side as we held together,
the one who held that torch which lit
our way to guide our lives forever
When the show is over, and the cheers echo,
fade away with better days
I'll always remember the surge of flow,
and energy we made up on that stage
beckoning for me are
the remains of a darkened day--
shards of a mirror hieing
to remind me
i look down to them and find
my distorted gaze..
my eyes sicking with a soul
simply yearning to be
the feeling,
oh, the feeling that emits
from all my wonderment and my pain
should i turn my head away and claim
i now know bliss,
and deny the inner chaos
which consistently remains?
the remains of a darkened day--
shards of a mirror hieing
to remind me
i look down to them and find
my distorted gaze..
my eyes sicking with a soul
simply yearning to be
the feeling,
oh, the feeling that emits
from all my wonderment and my pain
should i turn my head away and claim
i now know bliss,
and deny the inner chaos
which consistently remains?
What reason would there be to shed a tear
Deep in your soul without the means to say
Just how it stirred you, moved you, brought you near
Your inner worth that often seems at bay
Just how it stirred you, moved you, brought you near
Your inner worth that often seems at bay
Beyond the aid that draws your feelings in
An instant that you wish you could impress
Upon a surface through a tone you'd spin
So lovely that you'd calm your worldly stress
An instant that you wish you could impress
Upon a surface through a tone you'd spin
So lovely that you'd calm your worldly stress
For every time you yearn to paint your heart
Right from the source of your abyssal dreams
Right from the source of your abyssal dreams
There'd be no way for you to know the art
Of graceful verse when nothing in life seems
To bare the view that can arouse your mind
And have you leave your earthly cares behind
So dainty are the dreams in which we took our final breath
As soft and tender as the light embellished in our steps
Where shall we go from here oh, what fair journey now awaits
We shaped our bond by loveliness in comfort and in grace
I gave you my affection by the thoughts I'd often bleed
You bathed your secrets in my soul through all your deep mystique
No, nothing wills me more right now than why we would exist
My heart is yours to keep although the depth where dark abyss
Denies me of the light that dawn-to-dark can give rise to
And does remain to me as every reason shadows loom
You've gone away to where there is a pool of salty tears
And I'm the one who did turn out for how our life appeared
I'm sorry for the things I've done that darkened me within
Just know inside, no matter what, you are the life I live
As soft and tender as the light embellished in our steps
Where shall we go from here oh, what fair journey now awaits
We shaped our bond by loveliness in comfort and in grace
I gave you my affection by the thoughts I'd often bleed
You bathed your secrets in my soul through all your deep mystique
No, nothing wills me more right now than why we would exist
My heart is yours to keep although the depth where dark abyss
Denies me of the light that dawn-to-dark can give rise to
And does remain to me as every reason shadows loom
You've gone away to where there is a pool of salty tears
And I'm the one who did turn out for how our life appeared
I'm sorry for the things I've done that darkened me within
Just know inside, no matter what, you are the life I live
I fell...
out of the family tree
that granted me
breath
out of the family tree
that granted me
breath
quiet...on my own
soft, untouched
no acquaintance to warn
that vital breeze of autumn
will come
while
the beauty of my dreams
soar
a colorful silence
the silence
that I
took shelter in
I yearn for the life
which I believe
may believe in me
because
I am the leaf
that no one sees
flying, drifting
riding
your touch
riding...
your touch
into eternity
I am a leaf
They see me as a gentle spirit who will never stray
I know that in my heart of hearts their kindness day by day
Has brought me to grow into one who's sensitive to those
Who lack within their soul's design the strength to gain repose
My family, I love them dear, they bring to me such peace
They grant to me the patience that I pray will never cease
The openness we often share with every single breath
It makes me feel their love that will survive beyond my death
We share in laughter brought on by the touch of humor's glow
They help me to have deep acceptance for the lives that go
Who held defiance tightly when they met their life span's length
I'd never trade away my kin who give to me the strength
Oh, I do cherish every time their sweet sincerity
Brings gratitude so easily throughout this verity
Has brought me to grow into one who's sensitive to those
Who lack within their soul's design the strength to gain repose
My family, I love them dear, they bring to me such peace
They grant to me the patience that I pray will never cease
The openness we often share with every single breath
It makes me feel their love that will survive beyond my death
We share in laughter brought on by the touch of humor's glow
They help me to have deep acceptance for the lives that go
Who held defiance tightly when they met their life span's length
I'd never trade away my kin who give to me the strength
Oh, I do cherish every time their sweet sincerity
Brings gratitude so easily throughout this verity
When life designs in love a fateful toneFar deeper than the grasp of mortal mind
And ceases to exist the age alone
Of destiny which blurs by tearful eye
Through solitude unto a memory
That traps within a broken state that grows
While angels fair no gutless man like me
Oh, how it is I know this in my soul
So by that thought which lives to haunt inside
I dream of what may end my weariness
And cut a moment to attain and die
Toward a fate which echoes hopefulness
And ceases to exist the age alone
Of destiny which blurs by tearful eye
Through solitude unto a memory
That traps within a broken state that grows
While angels fair no gutless man like me
Oh, how it is I know this in my soul
So by that thought which lives to haunt inside
I dream of what may end my weariness
And cut a moment to attain and die
Toward a fate which echoes hopefulness
Unto the traits of this night I perceive Such things though fair and withered all the while
Within the depth where I crowned all I've seen
As fate that brought itself to take my smile
Oh, I had been a burden to this life
Kept deep in slumber but awoke by those
Who had a single chance to end my strife
But tasking their deception to my soul
Once broken in my spirit I refrained
From all the foul and lived in solitude
So long as this may be a hopeless aim
I'll long to leave it all and bid adieu
Within the depth where I crowned all I've seen
As fate that brought itself to take my smile
Oh, I had been a burden to this life
Kept deep in slumber but awoke by those
Who had a single chance to end my strife
But tasking their deception to my soul
Once broken in my spirit I refrained
From all the foul and lived in solitude
So long as this may be a hopeless aim
I'll long to leave it all and bid adieu
embark with me but for todaythrough life and not apart
the things we are and how we're not
our souls that once were scarred
by doubtfulness in dreams we've lived
until we wake in dare
to prove we are still worth a moment
of chance 'til days we bear
the things we are and how we're not
our souls that once were scarred
by doubtfulness in dreams we've lived
until we wake in dare
to prove we are still worth a moment
of chance 'til days we bear
the rhythm through all the beautiful
thoughts of how we feel
the yearning makes our hearts fonder
the heavens will conceal
another time beyond the faint
echo of our lives
to prove to us that what we are
is what we know inside
another time beyond the faint
echo of our lives
to prove to us that what we are
is what we know inside
Within a dream my heart holds
Under a starlit blanket
How she doth soothe my soul
Upon a floor of rose petals
As romantic ballads play
To the magic of the moment
Under moonlight we sway
A dream within the essence
Of all I've sought to find
I gently touch her cheek
While I stare into her eyes
Telling her all I've longed to
So many times before
How much I do think of her
And may forevermore
She guides me like an angel
Within this dreamy brim
To places aloft the distant
Where stars dance and spin
So I hold her in this moment
And dare to kiss her lips
Share with her such beauty
Which catches her breathless
She takes my heart forever
When she whispers we belong
Just like kindred spirits
As she cuddles in my arms
Under a starlit blanket
How she doth soothe my soul
Upon a floor of rose petals
As romantic ballads play
To the magic of the moment
Under moonlight we sway
A dream within the essence
Of all I've sought to find
I gently touch her cheek
While I stare into her eyes
Telling her all I've longed to
So many times before
How much I do think of her
And may forevermore
She guides me like an angel
Within this dreamy brim
To places aloft the distant
Where stars dance and spin
So I hold her in this moment
And dare to kiss her lips
Share with her such beauty
Which catches her breathless
She takes my heart forever
When she whispers we belong
Just like kindred spirits
As she cuddles in my arms
In what dreams do you dream to capture me loveFrom where does it give your sweet heart to see true
Oh, when is it that you need me the most
Could it be possible that you may never see through
Your days supposing I were no longer there
Giving you my heart in the sweetest lullaby
As I watch you asleep within every ripple
Of what dreams I wonder you do dream tonight
And when is it love that we may fall so deep
Within and afar wherever you go
Watching you smile to every whisper I cry
Longing you see how I do love you so
Oh me, I am the one who fell for your face
So silent tonight in the way you that you breathe
Like a fool I can't help but to kiss your sweet lips
Goodnight until I fall asleep as you dream
oh, what mockery through that word which veilsmy soul, while baring its tone to exist
throughout what it is I dare not propose
to fate as I lie so deeply suppressed
so on with the night as days come to an end
while I bury my soul in all I write
to what mockery through that word which veils
my ways which hadn't ceased to cause me strife
throughout what it is I dare not propose
to fate as I lie so deeply suppressed
so on with the night as days come to an end
while I bury my soul in all I write
to what mockery through that word which veils
my ways which hadn't ceased to cause me strife
Forgive my misguided ways
I cry because I've hurt you
Please don't say it's okay
For this I don't deserve you
Although I'll always love
My dear sweet AmberDawn
Though it is I'm not enough
I've touched your precious heart
With something made of fear
I cry because I've hurt you
Please don't say it's okay
For this I don't deserve you
Although I'll always love
My dear sweet AmberDawn
Though it is I'm not enough
I've touched your precious heart
With something made of fear
I never meant to reduce
Your beauty down to tears
I need you so much more
I need you so much more
Than you may ever know
For everything I swear
I won't let you be alone
I'll spend my life to make
For everything I swear
I won't let you be alone
I'll spend my life to make
This wrong to what is right
For every drop of tear
You've cried into the night
I love you AmberDawn
And that will never change
I cry because I've hurt you
Please don't say it's okay
I love you AmberDawn
And that will never change
I cry because I've hurt you
Please don't say it's okay
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